Falling in love is like a dream, but falling out of it is a nightmare. Everyone loves the feeling of being loved. And everyone wants to experience what’s it like to be in love. But falling in love cannot be planned. It happens. It just happens. One second you are minding your own business. And the next second your mind is occupied by that one “special” person.
New romantic love is accompanied not only by psychological changes but physiological changes as well. Some research suggests that physiological changes associated with new romantic love may be attenuated as the relationship matures. In fact, some have suggested that a certain level of stress is necessary at the initial stages of a romantic relationship in order for strong bonds to form.
What science says about falling in love?
A study conducted on both sexes who had recently (within the previous six months) fallen in love showed significantly high levels of cortisol. FSH and testosterone levels were lower in men in love, while women of the same group presented higher testosterone levels.
The increased cortisol and low FSH levels are suggestive of the “stressful” and arousing conditions associated with the initiation of a social contact.
Research suggests that circulating oxytocin is higher in people in new romantic relationships compared to others (such as new parents and single individuals). Some work suggests that new romantic love is associated with lowered autonomic reactivity to emotions.
How often one will fall in love?
Women tend to be skeptical of men’s commitment. This view entails that men may have evolved to fall in love first. A study tested this sex difference and revealed that men are generally more love-prone than are women. It was also found that men were more prone to falling in love if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners.
On the other hand, women were more prone to falling in love if they had a stronger sex drive.
Physical attractiveness is a predominant factor in sexual attraction, and research has shown that more attractive people are more prone to attract a potential partner. The male-older, female-younger norm, and physical attractiveness are important factors in dating initiation strategies for both sexes. Although females also rely on status. For people involved in a romantic relationship, perceptions of the partner’s physical attractiveness are positively correlated with commitment, passion, intimacy, and satisfaction.
Love one, love all?
Extradyadic behaviors, a wide range of behaviors occurring outside of a committed relationship, without the primary partner’s prior consent can be the most painful occurrence for someone who is in an intimate relationship. It can have serious consequences, such as low self-esteem, mental problems, loss of trust, decreased personal and sexual confidence, rage, and guilt, and in many cases leads to spousal battering and divorce.
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The relative difference between partners’ levels of attractiveness appeared to be most important in predicting marital behavior. Such that both spouses behaved more positively in relationships in which wives were more attractive than their husbands. But they behaved more negatively in relationships in which husbands were more attractive than their wives. But in such conditions studies have shown that more physically attractive women are more likely to have extradyadic behaviors and to have more sexual partners.
A study found that those involved in a relationship in which wives were more physically attractive than their husbands had higher levels of relationship quality.
Sexual extradyadic behaviors tend to be considered more negative and hurtful than emotional behavior. The majority of people have similar beliefs regarding extradyadic behaviors, expecting monogamy in marriage and overwhelmingly disapproving of extradyadic affairs. Studies suggest that people engage in extradyadic behaviors because the quality of their primary relationship is low and the couple is dissatisfied. Another study results showed the similarity of the infidelity behaviors between men and women, although men were more frequently involved in sexual behaviors and women more in emotional behaviors.
Men report higher levels of extradyadic behaviors than women, higher levels of sexual desire, attribute more importance to physical attractiveness, and perceived their current relationship as having less quality.
The duration of romantic love also raises questions about the functions of romantic love.
Not all studies found a significant correlation between relationship satisfaction and extradyadic behaviors. A study with recently separated and divorced individuals concluded that the quality of sex between spouses was not directly related to extradyadic sex.
Love has to have a lot of chemistry and biology, that too the right kind of. The flame of love needs to be sparked regularly with time. Love can be as simple as “loving the rain” and can get as complex as “loving your spouse”. Understanding falling in love is not as easy as falling in love!
